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According to the latest poll, Biden’s less popular than an anchovy with a yeast infection.
Only 33% of adults approve of Biden’s job performance, which is a record low. And after answering the poll, those 33% were rushed back to the mental health facility where the pollsters had found them.
But his approval is like his body temperature — barely above freezing. It’s dropped 3 points since November, and it beats former President Trump’s worst approval rating by 1 point.
Well, at least he can finally say he’s better than Trump at something.
But it is an amazing comparison considering the kind of press that Trump got. It was a relentless drumbeat of hysterical hate.
And yet Joe, who has none of that from the press, is rated worse than Trump. How can that be?
How is it that a genial old man coddled by every media entity on Earth is now less popular than the monster the media deemed worse than Hitler, Stalin and Maroon 5 combined?
Yes, it’s an amazing feat, but not when you see how bad it’s really gotten.
REPORTER: So for vaccinated Americans who are wondering why they should continue to restrict their activity, even though your health officials say most Americans will get COVID at some point.
PRESIDENT BIDEN: Folks, we’ll talk about that later.
Oh, he’s praying for it all to end. Well, that’s about as reassuring as an Uber driver with whiskey on his breath.
Remember, Americans were sold. Joe was political Xanax after the crystal meth of Donald Trump. Joe was supposed to be beloved, popular, a relief from Captain Evil, but even treated with kid gloves, we can’t stand him.
Even with the facelift and the hair transplant, you can’t make him look good. Why is that? I mean, other than the fact he’s a demented, old circus monkey?
Well, let’s ask the president why his numbers are so low.
PRETEND BIDEN: Look, look, look. People used to like me, alright? I used to shake hands on the Amtrak. I’d get in close and squeeze the Charmin, and that’s what worked. Now I’ve got to do what they say, and they told me, spend a year in the basement, keep your mouth shut. When you come out, you’ll be president. It worked. So I got to do what they say. They won’t even let me smell people’s heads anymore. And I think Jen Psaki’s hair smells like cinnamon, but I’ll never know.
That’s the real tragedy. So the reasons for Joe tanking in the polls are obvious. Whenever crap is bad, which is a lot under the Dems, they don’t address it, they can’t address it.
Instead, they pivot. It’s why Jen Psaki is always circling back as COVID and crime and inflation continued, Joe scampered into the world of voting rights, looking for cover, and because they become so invested in identity politics and wokeism, they don’t know how to solve actual problems anymore.
It’s just pronouns instead of policy.
They’ve become so good at racial theatrics, but they bomb when it comes to helping out the average American voter.
Meanwhile, Joe embraced rhetoric that was about as unifying as Alec Baldwin showing up on the set of a new Western. Well, unified America against him, I suppose. Hell, even his allies admit he went too far.
SEN. DICK DURBIN: Perhaps the president went a little too far and his rhetoric. But the fundamental principles and values at stake are very, very similar.
REV. AL SHARPTON: If he was trying to get votes, it was not the vote-getting speech. I think he gave a “you going to hell” speech.
Yeah, it was a “you going to hell” speech and not even in a handbasket. Fact is, while America struggles with serious stuff, Joe just labeled half of Americans, once again, as bigots, racists, monsters.
Thanks for the support, Joe.
And he wonders why he has a son who used to mistake parmesan cheese on the rug for crack.
Maybe Joe is just the A-hole the left tried to tell you Trump was. He played the “whose side are you on” schtick until even his own side doesn’t want to be on his side anymore.
Pretty soon, no one will be left to kidnap Gretchen Whitmer. I mean, when you lose Al Sharpton and Dick Durbin, you are on S— Island, and no one wants to get near you. The only way off is to swim right through it.
So Joe is calling everyone racist. This from a man who went to the funeral of a KKK leader.
His own VP implied he was racist during the debates. That’s what the Democrats have become — a bunch of people calling everyone else racist, including each other. Too bad they can’t tell you why you’re racist.
Just like critical race theory, you just are. But really, Joe, whose voting rights are Americans denying? They keep saying it’s Jim Crow on steroids, but they can’t find any victims with giant foreheads and back acne.
There’s no evidence that Republicans have tried to stop illegal voters from voting. In fact, it’s kind of the opposite. I mean, how did Georgia, a red state that has a large black population, flip blue in the last election?
It sure wasn’t because Republicans kept black people from the ballot box. They can’t even name one person kept from voting.
Is it a convicted murderer who doesn’t have a picture ID? I don’t know. But then say so. We need clarity of who we’re discriminating against, for God’s sake.
And yet the media plays along.
REPORTER 1: President Biden’s fight to protect voting rights in this country.
REPORTER 2: President Biden has to win hearts and minds on Capitol Hill when he visits tomorrow to push for voting rights legislation.
REPORTER 3: The president was pushing for the Senate to change its filibuster rules to pass voting rights legislation.
REPORTER 4: Right now, there is little hope any Republican in the Senate will vote in favor of any voting rights bill.
I call them tools, but that implies usefulness because even as they support the president, his numbers still tank, and theirs right along with his.
And that’s because no one likes to be demonized.
Well, I do, but that’s on role-playing nights. You know how hard it is to find red latex in extra small?
But Joe keeps smearing decent people who are just minding their own business. They aren’t hindering the rights of others when it comes to voting. They’re just trying to get along in tough times.
It’s kind of amazing. We’re going through all of this. And Joe still out in front calling your names while wondering why everyone keeps calling him Brandon.
I mean, we have a president who ran on unifying, but now all he does is yell at you, even though everything he accuses you of, like supporting bigots, he actually did himself.
So no wonder his numbers continue to slide like a rectal thermometer dipped in motor oil.
At this pace, he might get his own show on CNN.
This article is adapted from Greg Gutfeld’s opening monologue on the January 13, 2022 edition of “Gutfeld!”