Now here’s a piece women may want to share with their partner! People often think that they are Mister or Miss Know It All and doing it right when they are in bed. But they are not always right, and can make some bedroom blunders too! From not communicating well to forgetting the importance of foreplay, men can sex mistakes too. These can also have a negative impact on your relationship. Read on to find out the common mistakes which can put women off sex. After all, avoiding these is one of the ways to have a healthy relationship, isn’t it?
Health Shots got in touch with Dr Sanjay Kumawat, consultant psychiatrist and sexologist, Fortis Hospital Mulund to find out common bedroom blunders that men can make.
Common mistakes men make before sex
1. Communication differences
Women must have often noticed that the ability to speak well is not a trait that all men possess. It requires skill to approach a woman and begin a fruitful discussion. Dr Kumawat says that for convenience’s sake, men prefer to text rather than call. Men may prefer the simplicity of texting as a form of communication, while women appreciate verbal conversations. It may be helpful to consider this difference in communication preferences when interacting with members of the opposite sex.
2. Men trying to impose their preferences on their partner
It’s best if men do not try to impose their preferences on their partner or assuming that men know what is best for a woman. Instead, allow her to be in control and choose what she likes and how she wants things to be done.
3. Being overly aggressive
Many men may struggle with expressing their interests or desires to women and may lack the communication skills to effectively convey their thoughts. They may also misinterpret a woman’s withdrawal from them as a lack of appreciation or poor treatment, leading them to try to overcompensate by being overly aggressive in their approach.
4. Speaking disrespectfully about women
Speaking negatively about other women is the last thing men should do when they are with a lady whom they intend to stay with. Doing so can make their partner question their intentions and cause her to feel uncertain about her own safety and security within the relationship. It is vital to eliminate these negative dating habits to have a healthy and successful relationship.
5. Forgetting the importance of foreplay
We know that foreplay, which are the activities that take place before sex, is essential. But Dr Kumawat says that it is important to remember that women may take longer to become fully aroused and be ready for sex. To engage a woman in sexual activity, it may be helpful to involve her entire body, through touch or other forms of physical contact, rather than just focusing on the genitals. This can help to spread arousal and energy throughout her body, starting with her hands, arms, shoulders, face, neck, thighs, and legs, before eventually reaching the genitals. In contrast, men may be more easily aroused through stimulation of the genitals, although it is important to consider the individual preferences of your partner.
6. Not being gentle with clitoris
Clitoris is an important area of women, and happens to be extremely sensitive. So don’t touch it directly, but wander around its periphery, gently play with the area and then touch it softly, suggests the expert.
7. Unkempt and shabby atmosphere
When a woman enters a bedroom and finds clothes, especially undergarments, thrown here and there then it may put her off sex. So, it is important for the man to be organised. Also, any inappropriate photos on the nightstand on the wall should be removed. The bed linens and overall arrangement of the room should be well-maintained.
How men can avoid sex mistakes?
• Write a romantic message to her in the morning, as this will help in building up her mood.
• While having a conversation, quoting her favourite poem, book, or movie can show that you care about her preferences and respect her opinions.
• Cook her favourite breakfast.
• Gifting her flowers can create a romantic mood and setting.
• Giving her small, but meaningful gifts can encourage her to get closer to you.
• Dim lighting in the room will soothe her feelings and set her mindset.